Camper Turned Glamper: Tiny House Remodel Before & After

You ready for this before and after? Woop woop! Let's do this! I've been so excited to share!

We took a video touring our new camper the day after we bought our 2009 Casita Spirit Deluxe Travel Trailer. You'll see my excitement! 

We had just come from five months living out of a campervan (ahem, minivan) in New Zealand. The bed served many purposes: bed, couch, kitchen counter, and as the kitchen table many days.

Living Tiny in New Zealand

Our campervan, Bernie, in New Zealand.

My Aunt Janet visiting our camper. She was a great sport!

Adam cooking on the bed frame.

Our campervan bathroom situation? Public showers and campsite drop toilets. Yuck! After five months of this-- you'd be this excited about your own bathroom, too!

The bathroom logistics aside, campervanning New Zealand changed our lives. So much so, I wrote a book for other travelers on how to do it: How to Buy a Campervan in New Zealand.  

Our lifestyle was on the move every day seeing NZ's beautiful sites. We were living tiny, with only what we needed, and the outdoors became our extended living space. By being pushed outside, we saw the southern lights and an eclipse at random! We loved it and we were hooked.

When we returned to the US, we wanted to continue this nomadic lifestyle-- as long as I had my own toilet and shower. I was firm on this and stood my ground against Adam's "truck stop shower" solution.

The arguments over the bathroom situation were real! You can watch how it went down on our episode of HGTV's Tiny House Hunters as Backpackers Go Tiny here.

Okay, you ready to see the before and after? Here we go!

Before:

Here's a tour of our 2009 Casita Spirit Deluxe Travel Trailer the day after we bought her. Welcome to Bernadette! Her name comes from being lovelier and classier than Bernie our NZ campervan. 

Now, nine months later... a few things have changed!

After: Camper Turned Glamper

Check her out! 

The view when you walk in.

The bed area.

The breakfast table nook.

View from the bed in the back toward the front door and bathroom door.

The bathroom door open... the toilet and shower are still in there:)

View of the kitchen with the sink, stove top, and refrigerator.

Our kitchen sink with two burners.

Aerial view of the kitchen space between the front door and bed.

She's our home! Photo credit: Charlie K Media.

What Really Happened Between Before & After?

1. Bed Space

We initially thought we'd use both tables a lot. Since making the bed for the first time (by collapsing the big table down), the table's never been back. It's too much effort. So, we keep the big table down as our bed and couch, and use the little side table for all the meals, working, and craft making. 

Breakfast in Bernadette- our favorite part of the day!

2. Tow Vehicle

We're towing our Casita with our 2002 Ford Explorer. Her name's Shugs, because for her condition (200,000+ miles and she's on her fourth transmission) she's been super sweet to us. 

Sunset in Texas. Daggum!

3. Making Her Our Cozy Home

My mom came to the rescue. How was I going to turn carpeted walls and faux wood cabinets into our home? Well, we did a lot of brainstorming, crafting and shoppin' til we were droppin' together! Thank you, Mom! 

My study guide? Glamping with Mary Jane. It was gifted to us from our friends, the Thompson's. I read this book front to back.

Gosh! It was so nice to be validated that what I really want is okay. To live nomadically, but still feel like a lady with my own toilet, shower and decorative pillows and bunting!

I gave roughing it a valid go. On our #nuventures, we've lived in a tent for five months; a minivan for five months; and we backpacked for six months. We did everything as low budget as we could to keep traveling. Many of you even hosted us on our journey. Thank you!

In our camper, we can travel in comfort and we have everything we need. 

Now, that we have our own space in the world, we can host folks. Aw, she's not too tiny. 

Please come on over! You're always welcome and we'd love to have you!

4. A Change from "Experiment" to "This Feels Right" 

When we first bought our camper, we knew this was an experiment. We had no idea if this was the right lifestyle for us or even the right size camper. We're living in about 100 square feet.

Our tentative plan was to live a year living this lifestyle. If it didn't work, we were ready to adjust and make a change. Honestly, we had no idea what we were doing (emptying tanks, getting water, how to get electricity), but we were curious and excited (obviously).

After nine months of living in Bernadette, she's our home. We've even started planning what Year 2 will look like traveling and living in her.

Through just going for it and experimenting, we figured out we love this lifestyle! 

Cheers to more glamping #nuventures! Come on over and join in!

On the road again...

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Travel Woes

Introduction to the Past Week

They say, "Everything comes in threes."

But, they also say, "When it rains it pours."

This last week, the challenges have been pouring on us

Because, it hasn’t been three it’s been four. 

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1. Where's the Car?

5:51 PM. August 18, 2016. Bay Street. San Francisco, CA.

Where’s the car?

I don’t see it. This is bizarre.

Tow Zone

No Stopping

No Standing

4 to 6 PM

My heart is racing.

Now I can’t stop pacing.

This was the place.

The pin and pics he sent show this space.

6:01 PM

Where’s the car?

I don’t see it. This is bizarre.

“Excuse me, Mr. Towman.

Is my car in your tow can?”

“Why yes, we have it.

It’ll be $520 to get the outfit.”

“What? I cannot believe

I need that kinda money to retrieve…”

6:05 PM

“He said it’s at 450 7th Street.

Wasn’t there stuff in the backseat?”

“How do you use Uber?”

This has gotta be a blooper.

My phone’s dying.

I wanna start crying.

6:28 PM

Where’s the car?

I don’t see it. This is bizarre.

“Are you Marko?

We’ve had a big sorrow.”

“Oh, I know where to go.

I take so many, I’m a pro.”

“Heck, I’ve even been towed.

Get ready, cus they take all your dough.”

7:34 PM. AutoReturn. San Francisco Police Department. San Francisco, CA. 

“Here’s the $520.

This has gotta be plenty.”

“There’s your car in the metal thicket,

And an additional $95 parking ticket.”

“What? A thirty-minute mistake.

Please give us a one-time-offense break.”

“I don’t have authorization

To relieve you from this citation.”

Well this just takes the cake

Now I gotta tension headache

Now, where’s the car?

I don’t see it. This is bizarre.

8:07 PM

Well, my wallets $650 lighter.

Now I’m a certified nail biter.

SF parking ain’t no disco.

Looks like its time to go.

San Fran this is how you treat your guests?

You’ll be getting our protests.

Now, where’s the plane?

The Nubern’s are on that train.

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2. Intruder! Intruder!

I pulled out a box to reorganize odds and ends.

Brown pellets? When did this become a trend?

Oh, no, we have new friends!

I spent four hours following the trace.

So many pellets all over the place. 

This was real. I was on an official mouse chase.

Unpacking, scouring, cleaning and scrubbing.

There’s so much poop. On what was he grubbing?

My anger is boiling. I’m ready for a slugging.

Discovery- Oh no! He made a nest.

Not in our flannel sheets in the winter chest!

Oh, that little pest!

I have to say, he does have good taste.

But, those sheets have to be replaced.

This is too much, his piled toxic waste!

Mouse poop is nothing to play.

Didn’t they carry the bubonic plague?

“Let me find him!” I prayed.

I’m after this intruder!

These aren’t old walls of a tudor.

This is a tiny RV and absolute pest excluder!

I scoured every nook and cranny.

Could it be an Annie or a Danny?

He’s lucky I couldn’t find his little fanny.

Well, did we ever find the little bugger?

Why yes, it was an ease catching this mugger.

That stinky, dumb, little sucker.

Through our laughter watching Sisters and the noisy AC

I heard a scrambling beneath me.

“Could this be him?” I thought with glee!

We turned everything off.

I held my breath not to cough.

I knew we were about to have a mouse standoff.

I silently put my ear to the cupboard

It was loud like a ruckus of buzzard!

Watch out, boy! We’re not Mother Hubbard!

I opened the door slowly not to induce

The beast to run off and be let loose

But, all we found was a cute, fury, little goose

poking his head up to see “Hey, what’s the news?”

Adam carefully took the trash box out

and quickly tied the plastic bag like takeout.

We couldn’t hurt the little sprout.

Adam let him go like a good boy scout.

I sighed relief. Done was the pursuit.

Gosh, he was so cute!

How could I have harmed the fury little newt?

I had been ready to prosecute.

“Where’d he run to, our newest pet?”

Adam pointed to the big rock next to our kitchenette.

“I’ve seen him hiding there by his tiny sillouette.”

“Oh, no,” I said “He’s still a threat.”

“He’ll be back.” My hopes crashed.

So away I went stationing a trap next to the trashed.

It’s been three days now with peanut butter and metal clashed.

I hope I won’t find him smashed.

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3. Moldy Fridge

I opened the fridge with a blast to the nose

The smell of rank hit me like a blow

I saw spots of mold growing all over in trios

Thankfully there were only condiments to go

But I cleaned down those splotchy walls

Bernadette can't be smelling like bathroom stalls!

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4. The Leak is Looking Bleak

We need a professional plumber

These rains from the summer

Are making us crazy.

No, we haven’t been lazy.

We can’t find the leak.

We’ve taken more than twenty peeks.

It’s not just a slow pitter patter.

It’s a serious matter.

There’s a lake forming at the the door.

To wait there is such a bore.

We gotta fill the invisible hole.

Or our heads are gonna blow.

We need a professional plumber.

These rains from the summer

Are making us crazy.

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Conclusion

Poetry can be healing

When the emotions are up to the ceiling

And your brain won’t stop wheeling.

It’s joy your thoughts are stealing.

Challenges will come up spontaneously

Making hot anger your radiancy. 

If you take a step back

From the anxiety attack

You see your blessings way over stack

All the current negative whack

So protect your joy and don’t let it be easily hijacked.  

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True stories of #nuventures. Who knew deep frustrations would lead to an outburst of poetry? I guess the pursuit of making it rhyming comedy is my coping mechanism.  

How do you handle the tough moments when you feel like everything's crazy and out of control?

Peek into our HGTV Tiny House Hunters Experience as Backpackers Go Tiny

Watch our Show

HGTV's Tiny House Hunters filmed us as we searched for our our tiny house on wheels. It was quite a series of #nuventures finding something cozy enough for me and practical for Adam. You can watch our show on Amazon here:

what was it like being on HGTV's TINY HOUSE HUNTERS?

We’ve been getting heaps of questions about our experience on HGTV’s Tiny House Hunters and some friendly harassment of Adam’s “truck stop” shower solution and “Choose yo battles, Shuga!” And folks have told us, “Ya’ll are crazy! I would’ve picked the other one!”

We wanted to share the experience with you. It was one full of surprises and not what we expected at all. We signed up for a brand spankin’ #nuventure without having a clue what we were really getting ourselves into.

Take a peek into our Tiny House Hunters experience. Here goes!

What was your most embarrassing moment while filming you were hoping wouldn’t make the final cut?

That’s easy! The very first scene. 

The first morning of filming, we met the crew at a campsite. We’ve never been on TV before and had no idea how things go.

For the first scene, our producer placed us in front of the lake. Then she handed us a cast iron skillet, eggs, bacon, and a metal grate. The grate was intended to put the skillet on over the fire.  Then, she said, “Now, build a fire, make breakfast, and talk about New Zealand.”

“Okay! Lights, camera, ACTION.” Then, the crew fell silent, the camera was rolling, and all eyes were on us.

Cricket. Cricket. Blink, blink. We stood there like two deer in headlights. 

What she didn’t realize is asking the Nuberns to make a fire is a tall order, without the breakfast or talking requests.

To understand the complexity of this, you have to first understand how we function as a couple.  First, Adam and I are pretty outdoorsy and camp all the time. We even lived out of a tent for five months together when road tripping the US. However, we each have streaks of competiveness. Over the years, we’ve learned to build campfires in silence.

We approach building fires differently. I start with the teepee. Adam starts with the box. So if the fire being built isn’t successful, the other person always has critiques to give. Did I mention we were competitive? So after years of the fire causing arguments and snapping at each other with “I got it! No- I got it!” silence and giving each other space has become our golden ticket to enjoying the campfire.

So, we were already being tested with the first request.

Second, how were we going to build this fire? There wasn’t a fire pit. We were standing on flat, pine-needle covered ground. Thoughts started racing in our heads. "Where’s the kindling? We don't want to catch the whole forest on fire! How are we logistically going to lay this metal grate over the fire to cook the bacon?” Adam's mom was with the crew motioning to us, "Rocks! Rocks! Make a fire ring!" Well, we didn’t have time to talk it out. The camera was rolling and New Zealand was our topic.  

Oh, New Zealand. Where do we start talking about New Zealand? We were there for five months with so much to say. Where do we begin?

My coping mechanism with the overload of requests was finding the path of least resistance. So I stood there and just started talking. Adam followed suit and started sniffing for some fat lighter to get this fire going.  

What a bomb! The scene failed with patchy conversation of me talking and talking and then asking Adam questions without a reply. He wasn’t hearing me.  He was focused on not looking like an idiot in front of our Colorado friends and getting this fire built right.

Sounds like thrilling entertainment, eh?

First scene: FAIL.

I guess the editors knew how bad it was, so they tossed it! Whew! Thankfully that never saw the light of day! You can only see snippits of the campsite in the very first 20 seconds of the show.

So thankful the camp fire scene is over!

How was it? What was it like?

Exciting! And totally exhausting. 

We had no idea how hard it would be. We were on set filming for five 14-hour days totaling 70 hours of filming. All these hours of filming resulted in an episode of only 21 minutes! That’s mind blowing!

We totally have a new respect for folks working in the television industry. They have to wear so many hats at once. The creativity was constantly flowing on set. They have to think on their feet, constantly communicate their ideas, and collaborate with each other to problem solve and capture each scene just right. Lastly, they had to work with us. Three rookies who smile and shrug, “Uh. We donno what we’re doin’.”

Our producer, Tiff, said, “My friend describes my job as a circus director babysitting kittens while spinning plates on my head.” I see the parallels!

We couldn’t keep up with the crew’s endurance, but their high energy was contagious and kept us going.

What were you most surprised about?

1.     How hard our crew worked.

On the show, everyone always seems so relaxed while looking at the houses. Behind the scenes, the crew is working hard, long hours to get the right angles, making sure the story flows, and is constantly listening for barking dogs and planes overhead. We were amazed by all the hard work that goes into a 21 minute episode. 

2. The waiting game to get perfect audio. 

We had never thought about background noise when watching TV.  We bet a quarter of our time filming was—“Wait, wait. A dog’s barking. Hold on- the motorcycle. Oh, here comes a plane. Oh, wait. Another plane.” For the clips to work smoothly in the editing process, the background noise has to be consistent. This means you have to stop filming to wait for the random fits of barking to stop. We didn’t know this! We’re always a-learnin’.

3.     We didn’t realize how long it takes to film a tiny house.

For example, we spent 4.5 hours filming the outside of this cute shaker-shingle cottage. In reality, it only takes 20 seconds to walk around the whole thing.

However, if you think about watching the show, you're constantly seeing different angles of a scene: A wide angle of all three of us walking up to the house, then a view of our faces as we talk in front of the house, to a close up of Adam’s hand hitting the shingles, then back to a shot of all of us together, then onto one of me listening to my mom. One camera man has to get all of those angles. It’s amazing! 

We got to know Josh the builder! You can find his tiny house designs at urbancottagebuilders.com

4. How many outfits we needed.

This was the most stressful part for us. We came from living out of our backpacks while traveling. Adam only had two t-shirts in his backpack (you can see our packing lists here).  So, we had to be creative to have new outfits for each new scene of the show. I had to re-use my shirts and made a new "outfit" by changing my scarves. We had to get creative, because when living tiny, your wardrobes are tiny!

How did we get on the show?

We applied. We were sitting in our apartment in Thailand dreaming about finding a little camper to live in when we got back to the US. We were ready to return home to the states, but we wanted to keep traveling. Adam dreamed big and thought, “Hey! Maybe Tiny House Hunters can help us research what’s out there.” So, we filled out an application and pitched ourselves as going from “teeny backpacks to a tiny house.” We sent in our application on a Sunday night in Thailand and by Monday morning LA time, we were contacted and started an interview process. Our expectations of getting help with the research didn’t pan out, but we were pumped for a new adventure!

What were the coolest parts of the experience?

1. Working with the production crew.

Everyone from start to finish was so friendly and relaxed, but super on-the-ball and worked their tails off on the details. Their professional experience blew my mind. Our producer, Tiff, had worked on the Amazing Race, the Bachelor and on different Travel Channel series. The camera man, Shawn, had worked on COPS and National Geographic. I was star struck feeling like I was amongst television legends. So cool!

2. My mom’s decorating skills being showcased on HGTV!

My mom's an amazing interior designer and a HGTV fanatic. The first part of the show was in my parent’s house. It was pretty awesome to see her decorating work on HGTV!

3. Sharing the #nuventure with our families.

My mom was our real-estate agent and my dad jumped in with his “Oh, you are planning to have kids?” Baha! Dad, you're still embarrasing me!

Adam’s mom traveled to be on set for the first day with us, too. She was there watching us fail at building a campfire. And, Adam’s extended family threw a party to watch the show together.

After traveling for two years, it's been so special to spend time with our families. 

Wooo! Wooo!

How do we feel after the show aired?

So thankful!

In the moment of crawling into the loft with my butt towards the camera, all I could do was hope for the best. I had no idea what the final product would be like. Yikes!

The editors did an amazing job. We feel like the production team really captured us as us- our imperfect selves.

We hope you have a good laugh at our expense and have fun watching the show! You can get it anytime on Amazon. 

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You can watch it on Amazon here:

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We'll continue sharing our adventures of life living out of a 100 sq. foot camper. Stay updated below. 

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We're curious what you think! Were you surprised which tiny house we chose? Which one would you have chosen? Tell us by leaving a comment below!

Never Did I Ever Expect I Would Ever Do This

But, I did.

There we sat in a grimy bus station on navy blue plastic chairs. The chairs were all connected in rows like ones you would expect to see in any government office’s waiting room. We sat in the second row staring at a blank white wall well worn with scuffmarks from countless travelers coming through. The only fixture on the wall was a tiny clock up to the left.

With my mind on the clock, I realized it was noon. We were sitting there waiting to start a six hour-long episode of transport, and we hadn’t had lunch yet. We would be hopping from a bus to a boat to another bus to reach Cat Ba Island, Vietnam. From much experience, we have learned in South East Asia the ticket counter folks always tell you the journey will be a certain amount of time, but you should always take the estimated time with a grain of salt. You just never know how long it will actually take you to get to your destination. You can definitely bet you won’t be early!

Well, I knew we were guaranteed at least six hours of transport and we had no idea about our access to any food in the coming hours. I have learned being without snacks is not a good idea. Our hangry monsters are sure to sprout their awful heads!

We had twenty minutes before the bus was to depart, so I set off on a mission: food.

The bus station

I squeezed between several men lounging on both sides of the front door to the waiting room. The door opened out into the bus station’s chaotic entry off the main road. Huge tourist buses rolled in one after another. Taxis came swooping in dropping people off, motorbikes were everywhere and at least 30 taxi drivers in light blue shirts were sprinting around lining up for every bus yelling, “TAXI! TAXI! TAXI! TAXI!”

To stay on the outskirts of the chaos, I followed the building to the left and found a tiny convenience store. The shelves were packed solid from the ceiling to the floor with plastic packages of manufactured food; chips, instant noodles, candy, etc. Essentially, just junk. Wincing, I grabbed the best option of chips: Hot Chilli Squid Flavor. "Oh, yum." Then, I noticed cups of popcorn hanging in the madness to my right. “Huh. Well, popcorn sounds more appealing and is healthier,” I thought. My brain didn’t listen to my hesitation when I felt the dust on the container cup. I even stopped and took a second to try to feel if the popcorn was hard through the plastic. I knew I was making the wrong decision, but I was trying to think positive. As I was paying, I thought, “I will probably regret this.”

I squeezed back through the lounging men at the front door to the waiting room feeling like I failed in my mission. I glanced up and saw Adam laughing at me. This further affirmed my failure. He already knew while I was still 20 feet away I had made a terrible decision with the popcorn. “Want some?” I asked. He declined with a shake of his head still chuckling.

I rolled back the plastic and the stale air escaped from the cup. Seeing, feeling and smelling all these warning signs, I still moved forward and popped a piece of popcorn into my mouth. Just as expected: Styrofoam taste and texture. Glancing around the cup, I couldn’t find an expiration date. Most likely, the popcorn was a year overdue. Great.

So this is where packing popcorn comes from!

Without seeing a trashcan, I set the cup down under the seat in front of me. Not wanting to see anything go to waste, Adam grabbed the cup and began offering the Styrofoam to the travelers behind us on the third row of seats. They weren’t dumb. He even asked the locals behind the ticket counter. No takers. I was the sucker. Dang it.

I put my hands on the arms of the plastic seat as if to make a statement to myself. I stood up again, pulled up my big girl pants and thought, “Okay, I gotta find something.” I was determined this time. I squeezed through the same lounging men in the doorway for the third time and stepped out into the chaotic world of buses, motorbikes, taxis, and taxi drivers. Honk! Honk! “Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!”

My mission became finding a tiny Vietnamese lady. “Where is she? I know she has to be here.” Tiny, powerhouse, beautiful, little ladies in Vietnam walk the streets carrying their own restaurant on their shoulders.

And fruit markets!

So impressive!

When these ladies find a customer, they set up shop right on the sidewalk and prepare an egg sandwich or other snacks. You can find these women with five or six people circling her on tiny plastic chairs. These ladies are brilliant and have figured it out. Don’t wait for them to come to you. Find the customers where they are.

We loved these little ladies. Many days we had our eyes peeled for them for lunch or dinner!

Her sidewalk kitchen!

Knowing a little lady was my only hope for a substantial meal here, I scanned the edges of the bus station. “Where is she? No. I don’t see her.” I found a break in the buses, taxis and taxi drivers and ran across the bus station toward the entrance to scan the other nooks and crannies.

While I was scanning and looking, men started yelling at me, “Motorbike! Motorbike!” After months in South East Asia, you get yelled at all the time, so the yelling becomes background noise like the television becomes the comfortable background at home. It didn’t register they were yelling at me, until two men grabbed my arms. “MOTORBIKE! MOTORBIKE!” they yelled in my face.

“Oh, no you didn’t!” A new side of me was immediately unleashed. “Don’t you dare touch me!” I yanked my arms back from them and stared them straight in the eyes. I gave them a forceful, “NO!” like I would yell at a dog I’m reprimanding to show who’s the alpha here. “NO! NO MOTORBIKE!” I saw them back down, so I added, “I want FOOD!” As I said this, I motioned shoving food into my mouth. They got the point. Since I wasn’t going to be a customer, their attention turned to the next person. “Motorbike! Motorbike!”

I returned to my mission. “Where is she? Where is the little lady?” I decided to turn left to head out onto the main street’s sidewalk with no hope in sight. As I started walking, I saw tiny, blue plastic chairs to my left. In America, you would expect to see these chairs in the four-year-old room at the local day care center. Not in Vietnam. These are the seats adults sit on everywhere.

One of our favorite ladies!

She was our favorite breakfast spot and we had to wait in line, because she was everyone's favorite!

“Ah ha! Bingo! I found it!”

I locked my sight onto these teeny plastic chairs and made my way back into the bus station to the seats. Under a tarped roof, I started analyzing my surroundings. “Okay, what am I working with here?” I saw a clear plastic bag of bread rolls hanging from the front of the counter. Then, I saw a stove behind the counter. “An egg sandwich looks like potential here! Alright!”

I walked up to the counter. As I approached, the man behind the counter stared at me blankly. I pointed to the bread rolls to explain, “I would like a sandwich.” Suddenly another man stood to my right and handed me the entire plastic bag of 12 bread rolls. “Oh, no thank you,” I said. “Just one,” putting up my index finger to indicate one. Understanding me, the helpful man to the right grabbed one bread roll from the bag and handed it to me. I looked down at his bare hand wrapped around the bread and was aghast! Just like a mechanic’s covered in black grease. Well, the helpful man’s action created reaction in me. So, of course, I took the bread in my hand and then handed it on to the man behind the counter like the three of us were working on a bread roll assembly line.

The man behind the counter reacted the same as I did. He took the bread in his bare hand. I looked down at his hands and they weren’t much different than the man to my right. “What am I doing?” I was thinking. The man behind the counter looked at me like, “So, what do you want me to do with this?” My Vietnamese went as far as hello and thank you, so I started explaining a sandwich with my hands. I’m sure he interpreted my charades as I was trying to open a book or the Bible. His confused expression didn’t change. Needless to say there was a lot of confusion going on. I started channeling my mom in this interaction, “Just keep smiling Lindsey.”

Suddenly, I was shoved from behind and had to take a step forward to catch myself. A little lady pushed past me in between the two counters to get to the stove. The little lady! She had arrived! Victory!

The man behind the counter stood there holding my piece of bread in his hands as the lady started to prepare the stove. Then, it was like time turned to slowmo. In one motion the man released his index finger from my bread roll like a British man would release his pinky from a cup of tea. Slowly, the man’s greasy hand moved up to his nose. “No! No!” I screamed in my head. His finger continued on and his first knuckle vanished into the depths of his nostril! "NO!" Then with a flick of his finger I was back in real time, and he simply passed my bread roll to the little lady.

“No WAY! I just saw that.” I said to myself. “I cannot believe I am still standing here.” My bread roll had passed between four sets of bare hands and through a nose picker. To my amazement, instead of walking away and forfeiting my order, I grabbed a second roll and handed it to the nose picker to make a second sandwich for Adam! “What am I doing?”

I hadn’t realized it, but I had obviously caused some drama in this little nook of the bus station. I glanced behind and saw everyone staring at me from their little plastic chairs. One of the girls got up and approached me. “I speak English. Can I help you?” She tilted her head down with her ear toward me as if she was trying to hear me in a loud bar. As I was trying to explain myself to her, I noticed her gold earrings. “Oh, those are cute. Wait, what? Do those say…?” I was in disbelief. I was in Vietnam and this helpful, beautiful, sweet girl had gold earrings spelling f*$@. “Wait, that can’t be right.” I blinked and took a double look. Yep, they said f*$@. Well, this girl who spoke English with explicit English earrings only understood the word “two” out of my, “I would like two sandwiches.” She just looked at me in confusion with a, “Sorry, but I don’t understand,” expression. Still channeling my mom, we both politely giggled, bowed to each other and parted ways in a failed attempt.

My attention turned back toward the counter and the sandwiches. The lady at the stove had cut open the rolls like you would a sandwich. She turned to me holding up an egg with a questioning look. I nodded with a, “Yes, please!”

Woohoo! If I had a cowboy hat in Vietnam, it would have been flying. The little lady understood my charades! We were moving along and heading toward an egg sandwich, folks!

As I waited for the sandwich, I stood there standing in disbelief at my reality. I so wanted to take a picture to capture the moment and remember this ridiculous situation. My internal battle became, “Should I stick out even more and take a picture?” “No,” I told myself. I had stood out too much already. So, I waited. Finally, both egg sandwiches were steaming hot and placed in a plastic bag. My mission finding a tiny lady was a success! I was on my way.

In my before South East Asia life, I would never, ever, ever, have eaten anything from this grimy, nasty, greasy bus station. I would have said, “Oh, never mind. No, really, no thank you,” and would have politely bowed out. But when in South East Asia, your standards drop on food preparation and you fight for two egg sandwiches made with greasy bare hands from nose pickers. I was fierce to make the next six hours more comfortable no matter what! I didn't want to add hangriness to the experience of lugging our backpacks from bus, to boat to bus in the unbearable Vietnam humidity.

I couldn’t take it any longer. I would never be in the bus station again (hopefully) and I just had to record this moment for my memory. As I was walking back for the fourth time to the lounging men at the waiting room door, I turned around and snapped a picture.

This lady had been watching me during the entire sandwich fiasco. She says hello!

Full bellied, happy campers on the bus! Onward ho to Cat Ba Island!

Your turn now! What are the lengths you have gone to get some food in your belly?